Saturday, August 23, 2008

wendy's hilarious boyfriend evaluation

I edited Wendy's email to protect the privacy of my hot new fictional boyfriend. She writes:

OK, I looked at the band website, a couple of videos and reviews of the music. So....

-hot, hot and did I say, smoking HOT
-his musical taste does not suck
-my porn film fantasy seems very workable
-he does not sound like a jerk or a fool
-video: he does not look silly (in fact, did I not say "hot")

-bandmate/former girl friend w/whom he still gets sweaty
-song called "Insert_Unfortunate_Song_Title_Here"
-website: language skills and punctuation; photo still of cassette tape in the discography (much like tired 1990s stills of LPs or 45s. Did it used to be photos of Victrolas?)
-choice of Prince over Pavement (musical icons, not political/socio-economic ideologies)

possible tie breakers:
-his ability to pick amongst the vast minefield of white denim and emerge relatively unscathed
-his wearing of white denim

final score:
Are you serious? This is a seething, steaming heap of man-shaped lava with which to form all of your rock chick fantasies. If I were only so lucky.
Be there, aloha!

1 comment:

Audrey said...

Oh, the white denim. My sister saw David Lee Roth on a plane to San Diego, and she said first of all that he was tiny, like jockey-sized, and second, that he was wearing WHITE DENIM. I failed to ask if they were painter's pants.