I just read a letter some guy wrote in to a sex advice columnist saying that he'd been dating women "of low caliber." What a fantastic phrase! I'm not sure how to get classified as such (and I'm probably dangerously close to meeting the qualifications) but I am absolutely dying to have an ex-boyfriend say that about me. In theory, that is.
Which reminds me -- Wendy had a friend, Tim, who lived in New York. At one point he was pressured into attending some neighborhood meeting, which he dealt with by getting stoned beforehand. Backstory, on the block where he lived there was a Catholic charity halfway house for women that he jokingly referred to as The Home for Wayward Women. At the meeting, he got caught up in the community spirit, so he went up to the podium and spoke in support of the nuns who wanted to start more neighborhood projects. "The Home for Wayward Women does great work..." A nun interrupted him, "Thank you, dear. It's The Brandon Residence." He nearly died of embarrassment before stumbling home to call Wendy in California because it was too late to call anyone in New York.
Postscript: A few years ago I made a Home for Wayward Women joke to Wendy, who, it turned out, had no memory of the event. I love it when stuff like this happens; friends of mine are always reminding me of some crazy story I've told them and then completely forgotten about. It's like finding a $20 in your coat pocket.
Oh, wait, another story! I had a boyfriend whose mom was visiting California from the Midwest. They had lunch at an outdoor cafe and a homeless guy spare changed them. When I saw them at dinner he made me try to guess her response. Before I could even think through the question, she said (with dreamy eyes), "He was a wayfaring stranger." Apparently she'd been swept away by her own imagined romance of the homeless guy's life. A couple of years later he'd forgotten all about the incident and swore that "wayfaring stranger" was a phrase I'd come up with by myself. As if I were anywhere near that clever, but hey, that's why I liked him.